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Lessons from Christian History: Ascetically Pleasing?
Posted by Andrew Wencl in Bible & Theology
“Did I make a mistake by getting married?”
I’m sure many people have asked themselves this question following a fight or other displeasing interaction with their newly acquired spouse. As I reflect on the experiences Hannah and I have had together over the last two plus years as man and wife, I’ve thought about this question in light of Paul’s statements from 1 Corinthians 7:27-28,32-34,
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.
I’m happily married, don’t misinterpret, but I have thought about some of the benefits and drawbacks to ministry in light of having a spouse. For all the benefits (and I agree there are many), Paul thinks single men can be more focused on ministry, whereas married men end up “anxious about worldly things.” I don’t think this makes married men more worldly than single men, but Paul is identifying a handicap when it comes to making ministry a priority.
Though Paul clearly encouraged people to stay married or to stay single, there were instances where he permitted both separation and remarriage, and he does say that getting married isn’t a sin. In another epistle he challenges false teachers who, among other things, “forbid marriage,” (1 Tim 4:3), so it is somewhat surprising how popular asceticism and monasticism became in the early centuries following the close of the New Testament.
Learning to live without
The early church certainly gives us extreme examples, from Origen’s self castration to Tertullian’s rejection of “adulterers” who remarried after the death of a spouse. Even Augustine lived a tragic love story; having loved his concubine for 13 years and having a son together, he left the woman he affectionately referred to as “the one” for matters of religion, particularly a more holy asceticism.
Yet there were other forms of asceticism practiced within the church during the first centuries not always having to do with matters of sexuality and marriage. As Christians were persecuted, many fled into the deserts of Palestine and North Africa to escape death. Life was difficult in the desert, and as people learned to live without, they began to feel closer to God as a result of deprivation. Some who went into the desert did not return, choosing instead to seek God in solitude.
Though not the first to embrace the monastic lifestyle, the earliest famous person to do so was Antony of Egypt. Athanasius, who was exiled five times due largely to his opposition to Arianism, recorded the biography of Antony’s life, which became one of the most popular books within the church.
Taking Christ’s call to the rich man to sell his possessions, give to the poor, and follow Him as a personal call on his life, Antony rid himself of a large inheritance and studied under a local hermit. He resided in tombs, fighting off “devils and wild beasts” before moving to an abandoned Roman fort in the desert where he lived for 20 years. He denied himself worldly comforts, having a diet of salt, bread, and water, fasting every other day, and spending sleepless nights in prayer. He returned to society only twice: once to come to the aid of Christians during the Diocletian persecution, and once more at the behest of Athanasius to preach against Arianism. He died a short time later at the age of 105.
The ascetics and monastics of these early centuries did what they did out of a desire to grow closer to God. Their lives were defined by self denial, often inflicting pain on themselves in an effort to purge their worldly passions. Malnourishment from frequent fasting and sleep deprivation led to ecstatic visions and nightmarish hallucinations. Yet many had a profound appreciation of the majesty of God and a strong sense of their own sinfulness.
The monastics felt that self deprivation was a key part of their sanctification and that their practices were pleasing to God. Ascetically pleasing, if you will. But are they? Is it more pleasing to God to sleep on the floor than to sleep on a mat? To eat bread than to eat meat? To sit on a pillar than to walk around freely?
Biblical Asceticism
The Bible clearly shows some ascetic practices in a favorable, or at least, permissible light, such as the Nazirite Vow, celibacy, abstention from food sacrificed to idols, fasting, etc. But these practices were usually voluntary, of limited duration, and not for everybody. When they were mandated, as in the cases of Samson, Samuel, and John the Baptist, it was God who demanded it, not man. When merely suggested or permitted, it was entirely for practical reasons. Avoiding meat sacrificed to idols was to not offend one’s conscience or the conscience of others. Living a celibate life was to allow a greater focus on the ministry. Getting married was to avoid constant sexual temptation.
But what about fasting or married couples abstaining from sex? Is this really practical? Is it any more different than living in solitude for 20 years? Although both of these practices may seem arbitrary and mystic, they are both temporary in nature. These practices, in and of themselves, do not make a person more holy; they are the means to an end, which is focusing on and growing closer to the Lord (Ezra 8:21; 1 Cor. 7:5). On the flip side, to no fast or to have sex with your spouse does not make you less holy (can I get an “amen?”).
A vast majority of the ascetics did not respect this distinction. Tertullian refused to admit remarried Christians into the church because they were “given over to lust.” Augustine considered sex to be carnal as well. Those who ascribed to the ascetic lifestyle were revered, however, propagating the belief that altruistic self denial and long term isolation was more holy than living within the bounds of practical asceticism in the midst of society.
Practical Asceticism
But where does the Spirit fit in all this? In the 360s, Basil of Caesarea converted to Christ after pursuing an education in rhetoric, as his father had done. He spent a brief period (less than a year) in solitude and studied monastic life in the East. Unlike most monastics of the period, Basil established a monastic community on his estate. Although both he and the community practiced asceticism, is was much more moderate than the prevailing examples of his day. Around 374, after the death of Athanasius, he wrote his magnum opus, On the Holy Spirit. In it he lays out a well-thought out and reasoned defense of the deity of the Holy Spirit. I believe it was his understanding and close connection to the Holy Spirit that accounted for this difference.
Practical asceticism must be grounded in a correct understanding of living by the Spirit to have any meaning and any practical use in the life of a Christian. Practical asceticism is an intentional strategy to “work out your salvation” by pursuing holiness in the power of the Holy Spirit. It must never serve as a substitute for a Spirit-led life. A foundational verse of Scripture supporting this comes from Romans 14. In the chapter Paul explains how avoiding certain things can help protect the consciences of “weak” believers. Yet in verse 17 he reminds his readers that our practice of indulging or abstaining is not, in and of itself, holy. He says,
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit gives us discernment to be able to identify which ascetic practices are helpful to our spiritual growth, and which are not. He will also help you to determine what things are or have the potential for enslaving you.
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12
Because Paul allowed the Corinthians believers to decide individually whether they would get married or not, we must remember that the Spirit works differently in each believer. It would be unbiblical to insist that you comply with the way the Spirit is leading me personally, and it would be just as wrong for you to insist that I comply with the way the Spirit is leading you. As it says in Romans 14:3-4,
Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him. Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? It is before his own master that he stands or falls. And he will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
That is where practical asceticism leads to legalism. And once this is done long to be ingrained in the religious culture, two believers can make demands on each other that the Spirit isn’t leading either one to do.
Let us learn from the early Christian community to not make demands in the area of ascetics. Each of us has been called to serve God, and the practical expression of that may be different for each person. Let us only be concerned with how God is leading us in this area, seeking the Spirit to discern what is helpful, harmful, and usurping.
Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else. Galatians 6:3, NIV
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Excellent post. I have found mild fasting (one day a month or so) to be very enriching spiritually. I think the desert fathers were on to something, though many seem to have overdone it.
Good post. But, remember your Protestant slant.
RCC–Historically believe clergy can only be effective as celebate.
Protestant–From Luther to present, insist clergy to be married.
Neither fully accept both positions.
@Gabaptist,
I fully recognize that I am writing from a particular worldview, but I don’t believe that the Roman Catholics or Eastern Orthodox have sole claim to framing pre-Reformation Christian history either.
And I think it is unfair to say that Protestants insist elders be married. While it may be the norm, I don’t see it as a requirement but in a few fundamentalist churches. Requiring celibacy or marriage goes against everything Paul was saying in 1 Corinthians 7 (and other places).
Eastern Orthodox can marry.
Slight clarification. In both the EO and the Eastern Catholic churches, married men can be ordained but ordained men cannot marry. Also, bishops must be celibate.
The RCC also allows exceptions to celibacy on a case-by-case basis, most commonly to married former Anglican clergy who convert to Rome. There are several hundred such married RC priests in the US and UK.
I think Andrew is right that few Protestant churches require ministers to be married. In practical terms, however, it is an unwritten rule. How many never-married pastors over age 35 have you ever seen in the SBC? Divorcees, occasionally, widowers sometimes. But lifelong celibacy? It may be technically permitted, but when do we ever see it?
From the aspect of a young woman entering puberty, Ron Hansen’s study of a novitiate in Mariette in Ecstasy is fascinating. Would be interesting Wencl, for you to employ, invite your wife to read that novel and do something here on the Impact from her perspective.
Hansen is same fellow who wrote the Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford; from which the great movie of a few years ago was made with Ben Affleck’s Brother Casey; with strong poem in the first few minutes invoking the name of Job from the OT.
I will admit that I haven’t seen many never-married pastors in the SBC over the age of 35, but how many never-married men over the age of 35 are there in the church, and how many of them are seeking a pastorate? I think we don’t see many because there aren’t many, but we should not be discouraging people from serving where God has gifted and called them because of unwritten rules either.
Either way, the choice to marry or not to marry needs to be a Spirit-led choice, not some man-made rule. I’m surprised no one has made any comments about how practical asceticism relates to alcohol consumption. Then again, that debate can get old rather quickly…
Andrew, demographic stats will tell you there are plenty of never-married men over 35 in the U.S. If we don’t see them in church, well, that’s a different problem.
Maybe those few who are active don’t seek pastorates because they know they will get one. That’s just a fact. How many Baptist pulpit committees will even CONSIDER a never-married man for a full-time pastorate? I’ve never seen it happen. They always want someone who can “relate” to families.
I would guess there are, proportionally, more married RC priests than celibate Baptist pastors. For all practical purposes, the SBC is every bit as firm on the marriage requirement as the RC is on celibacy.
Oops, that should be “will NOT get one” in my second paragraph above.
FWIW, I have personally known several single (at that point, never-married) men who were pastors of SBC churches. Since then, two of them have gotten married, one to a young lady in the congregation. Maybe that is just the exception. But, it does happen.
Hi David. OK, so it happens. I stand corrected. However the situations you’ve seen raise another issue: Is it really a good thing for a pastor to be dating women from his own congregation? Obviously it works out sometimes, but there is a lot of potential for trouble there.
Patrick,
In the case I know of, it seems to have worked out well. In other cases, you may well have a point.
I think if single pastors are walking in the Spirit and they feel they may be called to marry, He will direct them in the best way to handle having a relationship with someone in or out of the congregation. It’s got to be by the Spirit!