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tagged: accountability, Discipleship, Fellowship, John Stickley, men, men's ministry, Ministry, serviceMen’s Ministry… What Works?
Posted by John Stickley in Church & Missions
Over the past couple of years, I’ve planned and organized a couple of men’s retreats for my church. They were very well received… as far as I know, hardly anything along those lines had been put together in the past. God truly moved in the hearts of men at my church both times, clearly revealing a need for men to step up and fulfill their Biblical roles in our church, our homes, and our community.
Now, we’re starting to refine that vision and are taking some baby steps to that end… we’re developing a men’s ministry to provide focused opportunities for fellowship, discipleship, accountability, service, and the like.
It’s been my experience (and that of quite a few people I’ve spoken to about the matter) that men’s ministry is often either neglected, poorly done, or simply non-existent in most churches. So I’m curious… is this impression on target? What has been your experience with men’s ministry?
Have you been part of a church where men’s ministry has been done well? What worked? What didn’t? What advice would you give to a church that is just beginning its own men’s ministry?
I’m looking forward to learning from your experiences… good, bad, or indifferent.
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A major reason why men’s ministries have suffered in the past (and why they are beneficial to churches) is because there is a lack of male leadership in the church. I’ve been on a few short-term youth mission trips and I could see that females comprised anywhere from two-thirds to three-fourths of the participants. Whether that’s related to other factors or if it is a troubling trend in the church as a whole, the point is that there are certainly areas where men are missing.
The Bible calls for male leadership within the home and the church, but we often give that up to the women. In some cases, it may seem as though the women seek out and take those male leadership position, but I’m convinced it occurs more out of passivity on our part than assertiveness on theirs.
If male-to-male discipleship is already happening in the church, a men’s ministry could serve to support that as well by providing a common point of fellowship for the men. Hosting a major men’s retreat every six months or every quarter is no substitute for one-on-one or small group discipleship throughout the year.
A men’s ministry can help open the doors and get men to take up leadership roles in the church and their homes. If we’ve long recognized that the presence of a male leader in the home is a great thing for a child’s upbringing and a healthy marriage, it’s time we brought that concept into the church. Whether that is your goal or not in the creation of a men’s ministry, I think most churches would benefit in seeing more male leadership come out of such a ministry.
I wish I could give you some practical advice, but I have mostly experienced informal man-to-man discipleship that just kind of sprang up naturally.
Brother John,
I do not have the answer as to what works, as we are often trying to figure that out as well. I will encourage you and thank you for for making it a priority in your church. My hope is that it will get past the monthly “prayer breakfast” and yearly grounds clean up day, to some real transformation. I must confess I get quite angry at times over poor priorities, medicority and passionless marriages some men accept in place of a life of love, sacrifice, leadership and discipleship.
If it is working, keep us updated!
Zach
I agree with you on all points, Andrew. I’m hopeful that our men’s ministry is far more than just fellowship opportunities… if that’s all it is, we’ve missed the entire point! It seems that discipleship must be the central focus of our ministry, with everything else growing out of that.
I am curious how others have helped to encourage this in their own men’s ministries, though. I’m sure there are some good books on the matter (feel free to share here if you’ve got anything in mind), but honestly, I’d much rather hear everyone’s first-hand experiences.
Zach,
I can echo your frustration! Imagine what a powerful force for the cause of Christ that a church with all of its men living lives wholly sold out for God could be!
Wow, this is an area that is either often neglected or overemphasized. There must be a balance. The big turning point for the men’s ministry in our church was through our Monday night Bible study. Our senior pastor began teaching a series entitled, “How to understand your Bible.” It wasn’t any grand thing, we talked about the layout of the Bible, why the books are in the order we see them, how we got the Bible, etc. What most pastors would consider seminary basics. It was amazing the turnout that we had for this though. Our men were hungry to learn how to study the Word! This has been the central point for our men’s ministry; everything else stems from the Monday night Bible study.
From the Monday nights, our men came up with the idea of a Men’s Advance. This has become our primary time for fellowship for the men–a once a year retreat. This has been tremendously successful for us; I don’t know that this would work for everyone, but I know that starting with a strong Bible study that will draw the men into studing the Word of God for themselves was the key for us.
We just started a men’s ministry at our church 2 weeks ago.
We meet on Tuesday mornings before work for breakfast, prayer, and bible study. Right now we’re working through Baucham’s “What he must be.”
Two weeks isn’t enough to know how its all going to work out, but it seems like our guys are pretty excited about it.
In the future this group is going to also do retreats and church/community service projects.
Brother John,
Great post….
I believe expectations need to be reset in a church that is not led by men. It is ok, it really is… for the Pastor (s) to exhort (tell) the men that claim to be Christ followers that we are now “going to” learn scripture. Not expect to lure them into liking it by setting up special events or hug fests. You will find out very quickly who are the Christians in your church when you simply instruct the men in righteousness.
Psalm 25:12-14 Who is the man who fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way he should choose. (13) His soul will abide in prosperity, And his descendants will inherit the land. (14) The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him, And He will make them know His covenant.
1 Thessalonians 2:8-12 Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. (9) For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. (10) You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; (11) just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, (12) so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.
Just a couple of things that we encourage of all our men, not just some….
1. Discipleship – Teaching men to be a Paul or a Timothy, either works very well, figure out which one you are…..expect excellence.
2. Intentional Leadership – Studying to show yourself approved unto God, not each other. We spend a couple of years training men that are aspiring to lead by working systematically through the scriptures, teaching them the principles of proper hermeneutics and taking advantage of a host of great leadership material…about 15 books or so.
3. Intentional Missions with other churches – We encourage and involve all our men in mission work locally, on the streets, downtown, etc. This tends to get them less fearful of speaking the gospel and encouraging others for Christ.
Those are just a few things…
Blessings,
Chris
John:
I think the idea of having men’s retreats “hobby oriented” is a two edged sword. Many of these retreats feature particular “hobbys” such as NASCAR, hunting, fishing, golf, or motorcycles. There is nothing wrong with any of these hobbies but a lot of guys are not into them.
For example, my hobbies are ham radio, playing around with computers, cruising in my new Corvette, trekking around in the desert in my 4WD, and watching trains. My hobbies are crazy “niche” activities, I guess.
Another thing is demographics. Sports are still HUGE with many men. However, for example, Monday night football is just a shadow of what it once was. I think the whole landscape of so many media outlets — including the internet — has served to atomize men’s interests in a million directions. I used to watch TV football religiously. I knew every quarterback and what was going on with every team. My wife Donna and I would watch Howard Cosell, Dandy Don, and Frank Gifford while eating dinner on TV trays. Now I don’t even know or care what is going on with football. Maybe I’m just an old guy drifting away from society. But there is something more going on. The ratings of Monday night football were so bad that ABC had to drop it and put it on some niche cable outlet. [I think Disney, parent of ABC and ESPN, moved Monday night football to one of their several ESPN networks]. NFL had to reduce the asking price for TV rights to the games. Also we see that the Bible Belt, which is in the South, is being more and more influenced by Latinos who are into soccer. In some media markets — especially Texas and California — world cup soccer games and Mexican First Division soccer games on TV have just as good — if not better — ratings as baseball or basketball or football.
Things with NASCAR are so bad that many NASCAR stadiums have had to remove seats. [See article in the Wall Street Journal within the last week regarding the problems NASCAR has experienced] Why do churches reach out to men via conduits which are crumbling?
My point probably reinforces what Olon has described — namely engage men in some sort of Bible study or fellowship. Using the attractor of some type of “hobby” only serves to artificially estrange part of your potential audience.
Men’s Ministry, like Care Groups, have been generated in the past based upon what may have been seen as successful from another ministry or a past ministry. Don’t know the reason to begin a Men’s Ministry here. One precaution, think about not identifying it as a Men’s Ministry.
When I lived in Baton Rough, LA our pastor wanted a group of men to begin a prayer group on Tuesday nights. He had read Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire and felt the need to have our men praying. It did not include the pastor or any elders because they always met and prayed separately on Tuesday’s, as well. The group was made up of only laymen who wanted to pray. We started out with an average of 8 and prayed about 45 to 60 minutes each meeting. Within 3 months we grew to 60 men praying in two (2) separate groups for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours on Tuesday nights.
From that activity began a wonderful men’s ministry. We didn’t call it anything. We just began to minister where we could within the church and began to evangelize the community. All of this came about with a simple desire from our pastor to pray. I really don’t think he even had the idea of a men’s ministry in mind.
I think our own individual ideas are what God uses when we are motivated to do what God wants us to do. If you desire your men to do what God would have them to do, then, simply begin with what you are capable of doing even if it is as simple as praying together. God gives us a measure of insight and wants to build from there. The desire you have is not your own. God is ready to begin with what you have and will do greater things through what He has already worked in you than whatever more I could say.
Here’s a hard truth: the rate of pornography use by church-going men is not very different from the general population. The vile fruits of it afflict us all in many different ways. I think there is a huge need to help men break free from this evil.
Now how you do that, I don’t know. Obviously it is a sensitive subject. But I feel sure that solving this problem will unleash an army of Godly men like we have not seen in generations.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT,
If you are a Christian, then we are to heed what God’s Word say’s. Are the Men in your Flock hearing this Preached or are we tickling their ears.
Mat 10:38 And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
and followeth after me; led on by his example, to preach or profess the Gospel, submit to the ordinances of it, and cheerfully suffer for the sake of it, when called to it. If a man, who would be thought to be a disciple of Christ, is not willing to do all this, but, in order to avoid it, complies with his friends, conforms to the world, and turns his back on Christ; of such an one he may well say, he
is not worthy of me; it is not convenient that he should stand among his disciples and followers.
Wayne
What works in men’s ministry?
Hands-on missions … manual labor. That’s what works.
My guys like the occasional event or retreat, but when there is some type of job to do to help someone, they show up in great numbers.
There is no better discipleship time than side-by-side service. It beats a book study or breakfast meeting every time (at least in my book, it does).
Geoff
Good word Geoff….