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Humorous Moments…
Posted by John Stickley in IMPACT Features
We’ve all been there… in a serious church service, focused in worship of God, or intently listening to the pastor preach. Then BOOM! One of life’s unexpected moments happens, and the laughter comes rolling out.
Perhaps it was something like this:
Or perhaps something even more hilarious.
What can I say… we’ve had some pretty serious discussion around here lately, and I think it’s time for a bit of light-hearted story-telling. So fess up folks… share some of those humorous church moments you’ve either been part of or witnessed!
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Brother John
Several years back, we were in the midst of a solemn time of prayer and meditation on a Wednesday evening, when one of our dear ladies leaned forward to place her bible on the floor in front of her. Well,…in the golden silence of the moment, there was a forced eruption. Yes, the familiar tone of harmonized gas escaping into the atmosphere over a fairly long period of time. Not just a small oops, it was an attention gitter!
It was tough to remained poised.
Blessings,
Chris
When I was a senior in high school, my buddy Mick and I went to Northminster Presbyterian Church in Indianapolis, on Sunday night. We were big band fans, and Xavier Cugat’s marimba player was playing for their youth group. During the second “stanza” of “Rock of Ages”, Mickey starts shall we say cutting the cheese. He just sat there expressionless, and continued to do so, repeatedly. I tried not to laugh, which of course makes my face turn red. So everybody thought it was me. And we only went there because the group was mostly girls.
Oh. I can hardly sing “Rock of Ages”, yet today.
A few years ago I was on staff of a very conservative, even legalistic, church. It had recently experienced a split over worship music, screen in the sanctuary, yadda … yadda …
Any physical expressions during worship/singing were frowned upon. If someone raised a hand everyone stared at them. It was that sort of environment.
Our youth took upon themselves a bit of passive rebellion. We sang the song, “Love Lifted Me,” a lot. And each time we sang the chorus, on the word “lifted” the students would simply raise up on their toes, then lower themselves back down. Pretty soon their entire section, including parents, was doing it. It was hysterical. I almost could not compose myself.
But when I looked over and saw our 60-year-old music minister doing it, too, I couldn’t help but giggle a bit.
That silly little movement during a song actually broke a lot of tension and helped our atmosphere of worship … a lot.
I could write a book on this subject. So many funny things have happened during my ministry and in my life before ministry in Church.
One thing. I was going to baptise my oldest son one Sunday morning. The baptistry was up in the air…lots of steps up to it and down into it. You know what I mean. Anyway, I slipped on the top step while walking down into the water. I started waving my arms around…trying to grab something….but there was nothing to grab. The Chairman of the Deacons, who was helping with the baptism, had this wide eyed, “I dont know what to do,” “I wish I could help you” look in his eyes. But, alas, I fell backwards into the baptistry. Kapoooooosh! Water went everywhere. I’m a very big fella for all of you out there who dont know me. I’m 6’2″ and weigh 385 lbs. So, when I say that water went everywhere, I mean it.
But anyway, thankfully, the curtains to the baptistry had not been opened yet, so the congregation didnt see this fiasco. The choir got wet, but nobody but my son and the wide eyed Deacon saw it; and he was laughing very hard at this time. But, the choir members did tell me later that they thought a whale had jumped into the baptistry.
David
Chris,
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I’ve heard that for a small infraction of etiquette, you acknowledge it. For a large infraction of etiquette, you act like nothing happened.
Bob,
Of course, when they think it’s you, what can you do? The Lord knows how to exalt, and He knows how to abase
David R. Brumbelow
In the late 1990′s, my wife and I lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and her brother lived with us. The three of us went one Sunday to visit a small Baptist church there. We were greeted warmly by everyone, and sat about halfway back during the service, on the aisle. There were probably 120 people there.
After some singing, a lady got up and gathered the children around her to share a children’s message before dismissing them to children’s church. She was in her sixties, and was the spitting image of what comes to mind when one closes their eyes and thinks of Mrs. Claus.
Having gathered all the children around her, she dramatically folded her hands, and said, emphatically, “Well…”
A bit too emphatically, it turns out, because when she closed her mouth after forming the word, a bit more air needed to escape, and it made a very distinct sound not unlike that described by Chris in the first comment.
I don’t know if my brother-in-law started first, or if it was me. I only know that laughter ensued, the kind of laughter that is totally out of place, totally inappropriate, and totally uncontrollable. It was miserable. I would just get it stopped, then he would start again. Or he would finally manage some control, and I’d be off again. And so it went, until the closing hymn. Had my wife had easy access to a weapon, I’d not be here to tell this story today.
Well, the folks who were so very friendly on our arrival treated us with an obviously forced cordiality after the service, and we could never bring ourselves to return.
A friend visiting a rural Baptist church in Montana was at Wednesday evening prayer meeting, and as usual they were taking “prayer requests.” A lady in the congregation reported on a man in the community who had been in a wreck in his pickup truck. With great concern she called on the church to pray for this gentleman who had been in a head-on collision but “broke his SCROTUM!” Every man in the congregation immediately winced and crossed his legs. She went on, “The steering wheel cracked it plumb in two!” At which her husband elbowed her and stated emphatically, “For Pete’s sake, Honey, it was his STERNUM!” In a dismissive response she replied, “Oh, whatever!”
I think to most men the distinction between the two body parts is an important one.
Oh … and there was that time not too long ago when a cell phone went off during my message with the song, “I like big butts and I cannot lie …”
Horrors …
Geoff,
Also, there was the time when I was preaching…back in the late 80′s…at night, at a small Church in W. TN near the TN river. We all bowed to pray. I said something to God…I cant remember what, but the exact moment that I paused, a trucker broke in on the sound system and said, “Come back, good buddie?”
David
We were in revival services with a really great preacher who actually had his doctorate in preaching. He was doing a fantastic job at the craft and had just entered into a section of his sermon in which he was proclaiming and defending the glory and greatness of God as evidenced in the complexity of creation. “From the cosomos to the galaxy, God created it!” “From the galaxy to the solar system from the solar system to the Earth, God created it!” And so it was a brillant piece in which he began with great/large creation and moved to smaller. He finally got down to the point that God had even created the smallest of organism, but he didn’t say organism. He used a word usually associated with sexuality. To be fair, he never said the whole word. He stopped before it came all the way out. But he got enough out for the congregation to know what he was about to say. And that was funny.
Hope I won’t get in too much trouble for telling this story. It has been repeated through the years in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, and in a few church fellowship halls.
Dr. John A. Hatch is an outstanding pastor at First Baptist Church, Lake Jackson, TX. Years ago he was pastor of Trinity Baptist Church, Fort Worth, TX and has never lived down this story. During a Worship Service at Trinity Baptist a man got up and sang a solo. During the solo, a storm broke out in all it’s fury. With the storm on his mind, at the conclusion of the solo, Brother Hatch walked to the pulpit and said, “That sounded like hail.”
David R. Brumbelow
Once when I got up to preach I heard a rip, then felt cool air. I had ripped out the seat of my pants. When I finished preaching I sat in the pulpit chair, and closed the service from there, and waited till everybody left, them made a beeline for the car.
WHAT AN EMBARESSING SIITUATION.
How’s this for embarassing? When I was a kid I went to visit my grandparents in Bay City, MI. My grandpa was a preacher and I think that was the first time I had ever listened to him give a sermon. In the midst of the sermon, as he was preaching about Zacchaeus being a tax collector and how Jesus went to eat with him. I think grandpa was pointing out that Zacchaeus was trying to introduce Christ to his friends. He asked a rhetorical question. Up until that point I had no idea what a rhetorical question was. Since grandpa was working up a fury and practically shouted, “And who were his friends?” I figured that question was for me, and since tax collectors weren’t known for being nice people I stood up in the pew and shouted, “Nobody!” Grandpa never acknowledged it and instead kept on going with his sermon.
P.S. Wes Kenney said that he visited a Baptist Church in Grand Rapids. Oddly enough, my grandpa was a pastor there as well at Calvary Baptist Church in the ’90s. My grandma does remind me of Mrs. Claus too. I wonder… Wes, was the pastor’s name David Westover? That would be too funny!
Andrew,
I don’t remember the pastor of this church, although that name does sound familiar. Though perhaps it’s because of the story I almost told. Around that same time we also visited Calvary Baptist there in Grand Rapids. We filled out a visitor card, and later that week received a lovely letter of greeting from the pastor. At the bottom of the letter, under the pastor’s signature, was written “Deut. 15:16-17.” If it wasn’t a mistake, I sure thought it to be a strange verse to point to when welcoming visitors:
I finished my sermon and was walking down the steps for the invitation and realized my zipper was all the way down (actually, it was broken).
I stood with my hands crossed in front of me praying that revival wouldn’t break out that morning!