Posted by Geoff Baggett in Baptist Life
Come on! Let’s have a little fun at our own expense …
I’ll start:
1. If you ever had a pastor who was fired while he was on vacation … you might be a Southern Baptist.
2. ???
;)
Judged By "Whom"; James 3
;)
Ministerial Ordination
;)
Theology VS. Methodology
;)
Quotable – Wade Burleson
;)
I Was a Stranger and You Invited Me In
;)
Is Yoga Demonic?
;)
Abortion: A Religious Issue?
;)
God, Allah and Good News for Muslims
;)
Holiday Blessings to Muslims?
;)
Missions IMPACT! – Exit 53 Chapel – Robertsdale, AL
;)
2. If you have a lot of children but don’t see them except on Christmas and Easter. And you don’t know where half of them are.
If your wardrobe doesn’t reflect current fashion trends but rather your current waistline…then you might be a Southern Baptist. (Ba-dum-dum)
If you thought that Lottie Moon was a aunt of yours.
If you’ve ever been asked, “Are you stayin’ for preachin’?”
If you’ve ever said that you’d be headed up to the “church house.”
If you noticed that people you’ve never seen show up at business meetings to vote on controversial issues.
If you ever heard whispers and saw raised eyebrows when someone raised their hands during worship.
If you get your best gossip from prayer meetings and requests.
If you ever read your Bible, studied your
Sunday School lesson, or showed up on time just so you could check all the boxes on your offering envelope.
3. If you say we are people of the Book and never read the Book(Bible).
Wayne Smith
If you have been to a business meeting in which you voted a major church renovation in about 5 minutes, then spent 45 minutes discussing the purchase of a weed-eater.
If you ever went “down to the church house” for worship.
If you ever asked anyone after Sunday School if they were “staying for preachin’.”
If you went to a business meeting and lots of people you’ve never seen before were there and voted on some controversial issue.
If you have many names on a membership roll, but can’t find most of the people.
If you ever thought that Lottie Moon was your Aunt.
If you heard the whispers and saw the raised eyebrows when some guest would raise their hands during worship.
If your church has the piano on the left hand of the stage and the organ on the right.
If you have a baptistery mural someone with questionable talent painted.
If you ever had to pass through a cloud of smoke to get into the church.
If you have been baptized more than once by a Baptist minister…you might be a Southern Baptist.
If you ask “Brother Bubba” to lead in prayer and three different men start praying out loud at once!
If you separate any type of “meeting” room piano side/organ side.
If you believe that the Bible is the inspired, infallible word of God, but you rush through reading the scripture so you can get to your point.
If you care more about a missionary signing his name to a man-made document than what he deeply believes about the Word of God, you could be a Southern Baptist.
If you’ve never sung the third verse of any song, you might be a Southern Baptist.
If you have family members who are now LDS/Mormon because your home church originally did a great job evangelizing your family members but a horrible job of discipling them.
If you can’t sign your name to the BFM 2000 because of its correct stand on the role of husbands and wives in their own homes or because it affirms that homosexuality is a sin and that women cannot be pastorette’s, the maybe you shouldn’t be a Southern Baptist but you definitely shouldn’t be employed by the SBC in any way, shape, or form. I hear the CBF is always hiring.
If alcohol in any amount is wrong, but fried chicken in any amount is right(eous?).
…if your offerings help the SBC, but you don’t know anything about the SBC.
You might a Southern Baptist if you think “Amazing Grace” is the National Anthem.
If you get your niece to promise to put a chicken pot pie in your casket because you are sure that the Lord’s Feast is gonna be a pot luck