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Thoughts on Family Focused Faith (Part 2)
Posted by John Stickley in News & Culture
This is the continuation of a series of posts on family focused faith, where I’m taking quotes from Voddie Baucham Jr.’s book, “Family Driven Faith”, and sharing some thoughts and questions to foster discussion on the topic. In the process, I’m hoping to further refine my own thoughts as I work toward developing a discipleship program centered around family.
We continue to lay groundwork today, drawing more from the first chapter of Voddie’s book, considering the idea that we live in an “anti-child culture”:
Several months ago I was teaching this [that finding the place of ministry God has crafted us for should be the passionate pursuit of our lives] at a retreat for a church tucked away securely in the Bible Belt. During the retreat I suggested that for some of those college students the application of this biblical principle might mean earning a linguistics degree and translating the Bible into the languages of unreached people groups. As I looked across the room at the approving wide eyes and nodding heads, I added, “Others of you, however, may be called to have large families and train five or six kids in righteousness so that they will in turn impact the world for Christ.” You could have cut the tension with a proverbial knife. This room of approving, eager young men and women turned into a convention of Martians hearing English spoken for the first time. The looked at me as if to say, “That was a good one. When are you going to say, ‘Just kidding’?”
I took that opportunity to make an important observation. I pointed out the obvious discomfort in the room and asked, “When did we begin to hate children?” Suddenly the attitude in the room changed. These young people were being forced to examine a cultural assumption that has been allowed to trump biblical truth for far too long in our culture.
I would imagine this quote from Voddie’s book will arouse some strong thoughts and opinions, but throughout the first chapter, he presents some difficult questions and evidences that lend support to the idea that we live in an anti-child culture… and that such culture has even began to permeate the church. Examples… how often have you heard the joke made to the prospective parent of a third or fourth child, “you have learned what causes that, haven’t you?” How often do you see children characterized as burdens that get in the way of life? How many of us choose the size of our families based on income or convenience?
So what do you think? Do we live in an anti-child culture? If so, is such a culture also prevalent in the church? What does this mean for the church? How do we begin to encourage families to reflect God’s design rather than cultural norms?
I know these are difficult questions, but I think they important ones that we need to consider.
Your thoughts?
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John,
I’m reasonably positive that the fundamental selfishness of humanism in our culture today has led to a general aversion to children. That seems to be pretty evident in culture overall. But I don’t think that this attitude has affected the churches … all joking about lots of kids aside. I think those jokes are usually only jest, with some measure of admiration.
Instead, I think the problem associated with children in our churches is that the vast majority of the members in our (Southern Baptist) as so far beyond child bearing age that it is no longer an issue.
Q: Do we live in an anti-child culture?
A: We live in a convenience-driven culture. Children are not convenient.
Q: If so, is such a culture also prevalent in the church?
A: What do we do with our kids at most church functions? Similar to the way we tend to do adult discipleship, we put them in a class and give them information rather than walking with them. This is not to say that children do not need time with people their own age, but they also need to walk with Mom and Dad, Elder Bob, Deacon Frank, WMU director Mary, etc, etc so they can SEE how to walk with Jesus. We do what is modeled for us, not what we are told to do… so do children.
Q: What does this mean for the church?
A: Syncretism…?
Q: How do we begin to encourage families to reflect God’s design rather than cultural norms?
A:
1. Teach biblical discipleship for all (not just children). This means not just sitting in a class room, but doing life together.
2. Demonstrate it. “Do ministry” with our own kids.
3. Encourage other brothers and sisters to be involved in our children’s lives. Seek out godly influences (other than Mom and Dad) so they can see the beauty/diversity/unity in God’s Kingdom and learn how to walk with Jesus.
Not sure if this answers the questions you were asking, but I’ve only had one cup of coffee and these are the things our family is struggling through right now!
His peace be yours in abundance,
From the Middle East
Geoff,
Perhaps the right question is not so much, “has the church been invaded somewhat with the prevailing ‘anti-child’ culture of the world” (after all, I don’t see many churches not liking kids), but “has the church lost its way in helping to encourage Biblical thinking about families?”
I know some of these questions open some seriously big cans of worms, but I think that topic includes a number of things:
What does Biblical thinking mean in regard to how husbands and wives determine the size of their families?
What does Biblical thinking mean in regard to our attitudes about children?
What does Biblical thinking mean in regard to our life priorities, especially once we have children?
What does Biblical thinking mean in regard to the educational choices we make for our kids?
What does Biblical thinking mean in regard to how we discipline our kids?
The list could go on and on… the point is, do churches do a good job helping people think through both the Biblical concepts related to families and parenting, and the practical implications of such in our lives?
FTME…
Obviously, I’m a big fan of what you’ve mentioned… discipling families and “doing life” together. I think that’s right in line with Deuteronomy 11:19:
“Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
Discipleship of our kids doesn’t just happen in class, or through sitting down with them at home doing devotions… it happens as we do life together. There are teachable moments everywhere!
I think we live in an anti-marriage culture, which translates into anti-children.
Society used to direct young people towards marriage. Now it does the opposite.
Just my two cents.
[...] has touched on a number of topics: the discipleship void, issues with modern Christian parenting, cultural influences affecting our views toward kids, idolatry in Christian families, and Biblical [...]