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Finding a New Church
Posted by Guest Author in Church & Missions
by Kevin Peacock
Cochrane, Alberta, Canada
It is not an uncommon scenario – someone seeks a new church to join, either because of relocation or out of dissatisfaction with their previous congregation. In my context, so many of our seminary students have moved from elsewhere and they need to find a new body to join – many having just left the only church they have ever known. Which church to join? I would hope that all of God’s servants would acknowledge that God’s will is primary in this endeavor, but how do we determine God’s will in this vital decision? The following is some pastoral advice I give to people seeking a new church home.
I like the analogy of choosing a life’s partner in marriage. With a certain amount of compatibility and an awful lot of commitment a marriage can work. Physical and emotional attraction can help in a marriage, but they make a weak basis for stability in the relationship. Although I believe that it is a good thing for people to like/love their church, it is my opinion that those who join a church for the primary purpose that they “like it” for whatever reason (music, preaching, programs, etc.) are thinking mainly of themselves. A person’s relationship with their church has to be based on more than mere attraction. The Father’s will must be primary in this relationship. God not only wants to be involved in “joining” people together in marriage (Matt 19:6) but also in “placing members in the body as He desires” (1 Cor 12:18).
Much in western consumer-driven society promotes the highest good being that people get what they want. In fact, for many Christians the idea may be foreign that what God wants for their lives may not be what they personally desire. But the Master may have something else in mind. He may have a need somewhere else that He has specifically gifted this servant to address. God may be sending His servant into an “undesirable” situation to be His agent of change there (most missionaries experience this). Many times the affection does not precede the service but rather follows it.
But neither is simply finding ministry need automatically the call from God. There is far too much need in this world and in churches for any one individual to address them all. Instead, the highest good is for each servant to find the place(s) God wants to them to serve and to increase His kingdom there.
In choosing a new church people need to look around but look for different things than mere likes, dislikes, and attraction. Here are a few questions that might help in the search.
“Where is this church headed?” I want to know where a plane is going before I board it. Is the mission of this church and my calling and giftedness compatible? I would do some homework here. I would talk to the pastor and learn his vision for the church and the direction he seeks to lead the congregation. I would observe the various ministries the church has and notice the values demonstrated in the church budget. How well do these things harmonize with my heart?
“Are there people here with whom I can experience genuine koinonia?” A church is a community of believers linked together as a body, not merely a congregation that attends a worship service. This question may not be answered right away, but at least the potential for genuine koinonia can be observed almost immediately. Can I link myself to these people? Will they allow me to be linked to them?
“Can I at least tolerate, and to some extent worship, in the worship experience?” Some worship practices and styles can be an obstacle to some in their worship. People should be afforded an opportunity to worship somewhat in their own idiom in their local church. If the tenor of the worship service is indeed a hindrance to my worship (and this goes beyond mere likes and dislikes), then I would find a place where I can worship.
“Are there opportunities to serve the Lord and use my gifts in service here?” We hold a stewardship to God for the gifts He has given us. We need to find an outlet to use those gifts in ministry. Sometimes openings in ministry are already available, but sometimes new ministries need to be created. How open is this congregation to such possibilities?
Finally, and most importantly, “What is the Lord telling me as I study and attend this church?” This comes down to one’s personal walk with God. Henry Blackaby teaches that if someone cannot hear God speaking they have trouble in the very heart of their Christian experience. God speaks in different ways to different people, but however God speaks to me I need to know when God is speaking and what He is saying. We have to believe that no one wants a person to know God’s will more than God does; therefore, His servant must listen to Him. Personally, I place a lot of stock in His peace on my heart. God rewards obedience with His peace. As soon as I am disobedient the peace leaves. Therefore, I “go with the peace.”
This list is not meant to be exhaustive. Are there any you would add to it?
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Dr. Kevin Peacock is the Field Education Director and Professor of Old Testament and Hebrew at the Canadian Southern Baptist Seminary in Cochrane, Alberta, Canada.
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I recently changed fellowships after 14 years and one reason was Iron Sharpening. I need fellas who are going to encourage, rebuke (if need be) and be solid examples in the Faith. Guys who are willing to be bold and take steps of faith for our Lord.
When everything is status quo, complacency steps in and the fire slowly extingushes until everyone simply sits around talking about the “good ole days.” No thanks.
Good post Dr. Kev
Dr. Peacock,
Excellent post! Some of the biggest conflicts that our church has faced come from indiduals trying to recreate our church in the image of the church that they grew up in. Your marriage analogy is right on! Not unlike a first-date, we spend a lot of time and effort preparing for our guests’ first impression. We then begin a process of “dating” where we get to know each other which hopefully leads to a marriage (church membership). I would like to use your questions as I visit with prospective members about how they know that God has called them to our church. Good stuff! Thanks!
Kevin,
One of the difficulties that I seem to encounter more and more is found in the expectations of newcomers … especially ones from another geographic location. I cannot recount the times that people have moved here, committed to our fellowship, then embarked upon an agenda to lead our church to conform to their “church back home.” In some instances, it has been very bad.
I recently spoke to a newcomer who relocated here who affirmed that he loved the teaching/preaching ministries of our church, but the worship style was not to his liking (band too loud, none of the wonderful old hymns, yadda – yadda) … as if I would commit to change our worship style to fit them.
I do, indeed, believe that we are infected with the sickness of consumerism right down to the marrow of our being … our faith.
I like your question # 4 – “Can I serve here?” I wish everyone asked that, or a similar question.
A church indeed is a living organism that will grow and change over time. I have recently visited congregations that I was a part of in years past and presently most of the congregation is entirely different than before. People change and ministry needs change, thus change could indeed be expected over time in a church.
In my view, it is unethical to join a church seeking to change it over personal preference. It would be like unto marrying someone in order to change them. If a church’s beliefs, convictions, and practices are biblically based, then the arguments are not over biblical convictions but on personal preference. This is a weak basis to cause conflict.
John, it sounds like the koinonia aspect was important in your decision. I also crave fellowship with men in accountability, Bible study, and personal spiritual growth.
Dave, if God does not want them in your church, you don’t want them!
Geoff, I don’t think that gratitude comes naturally to we sinful humans – whining does. If God has indeed set the mission of the church, then a church must be true to that mission, and no visitor or church member has a right to hold the church hostage to steer it in their personal direction. If the church needs to change, God will let the body know.
As a pastor of a newer congregation, one thing I want people to know as they consider our church is that we probably have room for their calling under our umbrella of ministry. Just because we do not have a clothes closet or food pantry does not mean we do not want to have one or are not open to it. We just have not had someone come along yet who feels called to lead such a ministry. Usually we can accomodate them. And as they come, they become part of the tapestry of ministry that makes up our overall vision.
Also, I want folks to know that some of the things they see here we do out of necessity, not preference. Are we committed to not having paved parking? No, we’d like to, but we cannot afford it yet. Do I plan to serve as one of the primary worship leaders (as well as the preacher) in our services forever? No, only until we have more available singers or worship leaders. That is why conveying vision to new attenders is so important.
We are not yet the church we are becoming, but praise God, we are not the church we used to be! As we continue to grow and mature as a congregation, hopefully we will see not only some of our hopes and dreams fulfilled but also God’s vision fulfilled in us.
Earlier this year we left one church and went to another. Why did we leave? By counting numerically the headings of Dr. Peacock’s excellent post (1,2,3,etc) numbers 1 and 4 were negative with 5 being more permission than leadership. By contrast, we went to a congregation where as best as we could discern 1 and 4 are positive, 2 is developing, 3 is a mute point in both churches, and again, 5 is more permission with no radical sense of leadership one way or the other.
Both are good churches. They are different, and perhaps one reason for the transition is the season of life in which we found ourselves.
I have ceased to become an advocate of staying in one church forever. That is wonderful if it can be attained, but in our world of changes and transitions, sometimes one congregation is better for a particular season of life than another for one’s own spiritual growth.
Roger, I know of few pastors who believe that their church is exactly how it is supposed to be. That is why the direction a church is going is more important of an indicator of its health than where it presently stands. Especially in a newer church, talking to the pastor is vital to discern its direction. On another note, finding people with a servant spirit is not as common as it should be. A desire to serve our Lord and His people is an indicator of one’s spiritual health. Those who expect to “be served” are either not saved or are spiritually immature.
Ted, my main struggle with the marriage analogy (and any analogy breaks down at a certain point) is with the idea of lifetime commitment. Believers should not depart easily from a congregation, except with the definite leading of the Lord. Even when they do leave, it should not be over broken relationships. We can be a unified people serving in different parts of God’s kingdom. In other words, if God adds someone to a body, it must indeed be God who moves them away. People need His “permission” to move.
Brother Kevin,
Thanks for the Post.
It does appear that some people view their goal in life as determining where they may “place” their membership, when all along, Christ has revealed to us that He places His children in the body, the church, for worship (spirit and truth) and the service of loving as members of one another (Ephesians 4 & 5). So, many times Christians are trained to be more apt to judge the parameters of membership than to serving the members of Christ body.
Finding a church should be a simple task…. Romans 12:4-5 “For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, (5) so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.”
Christians should be as hospitable as Paul……
Romans 16:1-2 “I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a servant of the church which is at Cenchrea; (2) that you receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and that you help her in whatever matter she may have need of you; for she herself has also been a helper of many, and of myself as well.”
Finding the members of the body of Christ is a great privilege that we should receive those with the enthusiasm as shown by our brother Paul. It is not a difficult task!
Blessings,
Chris
Kevin,
Thank you for this post, and the wisdom and grace you communicate in it. As I mentioned before on this topic, I believe that, beyond the self-evident choice of Question #5, your Question #4 – where we can be the best stewards with the gifts God has given us for the advance of the Kingdom – should be determinative. No doubt, the answers to Questions #1, 2, & 3 also play into finding the correct answer to #4, though.
Given the current church milieu in North America, I think it is hard to contradict or improve on what you say here. However, I would like to tease this out a little more from a biblical and missiological perspective.
I have dealt with a situation in Spain where 1 family and 1 single person were the only evangelical believer living in their town. Even though they had some doctrinal differences, and, at times, there were obstacles to a full and productive koinonia between them, it is hard for me to believe it was the will of God for them to form 2 separate churches. If a group does not allow you to live in koinonia with them, that is one thing. But, inasmuch as it depends on us, I believe we need to do whatever we can to live in koinonia with other true believers, whether we dot every ‘i’ or cross every ‘t’ just like them.
Also, there was another situation in a larger town in which there were essentially 2 evangelical churches in town. As a result, every believer had to choose between the two, the one with whose vision they most closely identified. As a natural result of this, it seems to me the tendency is for the differences between the two congregations to become more and more accentuated over time. All of the people with a certain temperament and set of preferences tended to gravitate toward one congregation, while those with another temperament and set of preferences toward the other one.
The problem I see in this is that it tends toward division in the Body of Christ. God designed the Body so that all of the members are important, not just those who share the same temperament and set of preferences as us.
Again, in saying this, I am not meaning to contradict your basic thesis. Indeed, I think it is essentially correct. However, I am interested to hear how you would apply these principles in these situations I mention here.
Re: “Where is this church headed?”.
When it comes to church polity, I want to know that practice conforms to the plan. I can live with many variations on how the church is constituted; I just want to know that there is consistency between what they say they do and what they actually do. I see that consistency as one of the marks of a healthy congregation.
Dr. Peacock,
I want to review you questions then point out something. I do not desire to be contentious in this direction, but the points I want to make are, I believe, valid.
Your five clarifying questions that should guide one seem to be a little more based on self than on the Savior.
“Where is this church headed?”–Feeling. I would observe the various ministries the church has and notice the values demonstrated in the church budget. How well do these things harmonize with my heart? It seems that we are saying that if the church is not like I want it, I am not willing to invest my life into it.
“Are there people here with whom I can experience genuine koinonia?”–Feeling. Can I link myself to these people? Will they allow me to be linked to them? I agree that relationship is important. However, relationship is something that grows, it doesn’t happen immediately.
“Can I at least tolerate, and to some extent worship, in the worship experience?”–Feeling. If the tenor of the worship service is indeed a hindrance to my worship (and this goes beyond mere likes and dislikes), then I would find a place where I can worship. This statement certainly seems so subjective. I understand the need to worship, but what happens when we get to heaven and find our that God prefers steel guitars and singing Amazing Grace to the tune of “Long Black Train”?
“Are there opportunities to serve the Lord and use my gifts in service here?”–Feelings. Sometimes openings in ministry are already available, but sometimes new ministries need to be created. How open is this congregation to such possibilities? I know the importance of gift based ministry. However, should we not be willing to grow with people and teach giftedness before we determine if the church will accept our ministry?
“What is the Lord telling me as I study and attend this church?”–Feelings. Henry Blackaby teaches that if someone cannot hear God speaking they have trouble in the very heart of their Christian experience…Personally, I place a lot of stock in His peace on my heart. God rewards obedience with His peace. As soon as I am disobedient the peace leaves. Therefore, I “go with the peace.” I believe you have mis-quoted Dr. Blackaby. Of course you are there with his son and I will concede that you may not be attributing the same thing I am in the interpretation. However, It seems that Dr. Blackaby’s first key was; God is at work in the world around you. How do I search for my peace when God is at work and my only objective is to get in on what God is doing? I know peace has lots to do with it, but it seems that we are placing a huge incentive on my peace.
Please do not misunderstand me. I believe these are great ideas. I believe that we have left out one of the main areas that Dr. Blackaby attributes to knowing and doing the Will of God–His Word. God still speaks through His Word. Is there any place for that perspective? I know that you said your five were not exhaustive. However, it seems that Seeking God’s face through His Word would be in the top five. Would you not agree?
It seems that you started out in your opening statements leading in this direction. However, to say; There is far too much need in this world and in churches for any one individual to address them all. Instead, the highest good is for each servant to find the place(s) God wants to them to serve and to increase His kingdom there. and then place these five out there seems to be a break down. If I truly believe the highest good is for each servant to find the place God wants, then where the church is headed, how they worship, experiencing koinonia, or opportunities for service, really are not in the top ten. They would be great, but they would not be deal breakers.
Blessings,
Tim
Tim,
I’m inclined to thoroughly disagree with your analysis. I guess I see Kevin’s thoughts from a completely different perspective. Specifically, how can you possibly relegate any of these questions of discernment to the mere satisfaction of “feelings?”
Let’s look at them again:
1. Vision / Direction. Biblical
2. Quality of Fellowship … Biblical
3. Worship … Biblical
4. Service Opportunities / Spiritual Gifts / Ministry Focus… Very Biblical
5. Seeking God’s will with regard to the church. Extremely Biblical.
Now, if he had said …
1. Do they have a gym?
2. Does the pastor drive a nicer car than me?
3. Is the youth minister under 30?
4. Do they have valet parking?
5. Do they serve Starbucks brand coffee?
… then I would be inclined to agree with you.
But as it stands, I think the suggestions that Kevin made here are not only biblically-based, but nothing short of a common-sense starting point when seeking a new church home.
And I have no desire to be contentious, either. [Though I did just return from the dentist ... and have to go back next week for a little drillery & torture
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Tim,
I see what you’re saying, but it sounds as if you are asserting that we should not search for a church at all, just plug in regardless of our personal feelings and sense of God’s direction about worship, fellowship, ministry, etc. I think those feelings can be important, especially given the marriage analogy. This is a somewhat subjective decision. When we marry, we do not (though my brother did this in high school when deciding who to ask to the prom) make a list of good and bad qualities of each girl and then objectively decide who to marry. There is some feeling involved, some romance, and allowing God to lead our hearts toward a certain person. I think it is this way with searching for a church. There is much subjectivity and I think that’s okay if we are at the same time praying, reading God’s word and asking him to guide us in our search, for his glory.
Are you saying it is wrong to “search” for a church? Do you think we should just plug into one, irregardless of its qualities, and get to work?
Thanks for your thoughts.
David, in trying to speak to your all-too-real scenarios from the mission field, I see all the more the clarion call for Christian fellowship and unity in the larger Body of Christ. There is a beautiful King James term that I feel is sorely missing among God’s people today, “forbearance.” It means “putting up with some things for the sake of the relationship” (anyone who is married knows what this means). Among God’s people there will never be a situation where everyone believes everything the same (my marriage does not even reflect this!). But we can decide that our unity is more important than some of the arguments that Christians tend to have.
Scenario #1 — Do the believers hold enough in common to have genuine Christian koinonia with each other? If they can, might Christ be building them together as a body? Is there enough forbearance between them to look past their differences and work together?
Scenario #2 — Living organisms have their own distinct personalities. Having two different evangelical churches in the same locale with differing temperaments and preferences, does that necessarily mean that there is “division in the Body of Christ”? Why cannot the two churches be unified with each other? Also, nothing hinders either church from expanding its vision and ministries in other directions. Living organisms grow and change with time and need.
Great questions.
Kevin,
Great answers. Thanks.
Tim, no offense taken. You did catch me using some basic assumptions and presuppositions that I may need to spell out. The first major presupposition is that any church being considered would be one that is biblically oriented. Finding one that is in clear violation to God’s word (and has chosen to remain so) would be a clear indicator that such a church would not be God’s will for your membership.
Having made that assumption, then according to God’s word, there are probably not any clear directives against a church being considered. In David’s example of a pioneer area with few available options, unless one is to plant their own congregation in the city, the options are two existing evangelical churches there. In the case of Bowden’s daughter moving to Baton Rouge, her options may be down to 200 or more “biblical” churches she could join. It is true that we look for where God is at work. But if God is clearly at work in 200 surrounding churches, which one does He want me to join? How does one exercise biblical discernment and choose one out of the remaining options?
Biblical discernment involves God’s word, wisdom gained from the numerous areas from which God gives it, as well as the direct leading from the Holy Spirit. “It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us” (Acts 15:22) demonstrates a sensitivity among God’s people to the Holy Spirit’s leading in some areas not directly addressed in the scriptures. My appeal to His “peace” is calling on one of the evident fruits that I am indeed walking in His Spirit (Gal 5:16, 22). Several items listed in “the fruit of the Spirit” (Gal 5:22-23) involve things we would consider “feelings.” Cannot our “feelings” be guided by His word and a sensitivity to His Spirit?
My five questions are intended to help the believer discern through some very biblical criteria what God may be saying to them regarding where to place their membership. They are not intended to be focused upon the individual, but rather upon God’s individual choice for them based upon what God has already done in this believer’s life and pilgrimage as well as in the life of that local church.