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Vacation And The Law Of The Indispensable
Posted by Roger Ferrell in Church & Missions
It’s Sunday night and its been a long 14-hour day of work pastoring a church. And know what? I feel great. Know why? I just got back from a glorious 13-day vacation. Now I know what you are thinking. 13 days? Am I lazy or what? I left on a Sunday afternoon after church and lunch with friends. I got back on a Saturday in time to cut the grass before getting things straight for church on Sunday. I missed one Sunday service, which was ably led by our staff and other leaders. And I made sure to make that Memorial Day Sunday, one of our lowest attendance days of the year.
My family and I get four weeks a year vacation according to my arrangement with the church I pastor. I also get a one-month sabbatical every two years, and though I have been at my church two and half years, I have not taken that yet.
I must admit that I felt a little guilty being gone for so long. I felt indulgent and even questioned whether it was sinful to take that much time off, until I reasoned that I had to take the four weeks sometime and would rather spend almost two weeks at the beach at once (with two mostly travel days) than spend one week at the beach twice (with a total of four travel days.) And in the midst of my guilty musings, I was lovingly reminded by my wife that I have only missed four Sundays in two and half years at my church. She also lovingly reminded me that she was going to the beach whether I went or not.
We had a great vacation (yes, of course I went): long walks on the beach, swimming, biking, fishing, crabbing, even teaching my kids to play tennis. We read lots of books and spent time together talking over meals and recharging our batteries.
So why do I feel guilty?
I polled a few of my friends and found that many of them do not take their vacation time. They get three of four weeks, they say, but cannot find a good time to get away. Their company needs them, or there is a project they have to get finished at work. Sometimes the boss says it’s not a good time, and there is never a good time. So they keep working and never take a vacation. And they feel very indispensible, and very tired.
I think our society and even our churches, make us feel we are indispensible. We think we are so necessary to our organizations that they cannot do without us even long enough for us to spend time with our kids on a beach or mountain somewhere. And this, my friends, is wrong thinking. It is prideful and shows a lack of trust in God. Most of you desperately need rest. You need time periodically to think, to talk with your kids and spouse, to pray, to read, and to see new places. You are not being noble when you refuse to take the vacation time allotted to you. You are just being an idiot. [Disclaimer - In the spirit of our recent recommitment to be the kind and gentle blog we are supposed to be, I emphasize that I mean the metaphorical you, not you specifically. You, of course, are not an idiot; I don't think you are one, and even if you are one, I pass no judgement on you. That is completely between you and the Lord, and is, of course, none of my business. And no, I'm not talking about you.]
The law of the indispensible (which I just made up) is that those who are the most in need of vacation are the most unlikely to take it. They think their world will collapse if they leave it for a few days. The truth is that they will collapse if they don’t.
So from a guy who just got back and is still thinking clearly: take your vacation time. Enjoy your kids before they grow up and leave you. Enjoy the wife of your youth (or old age!). Be quiet somewhere. Read books and read your bible NOT preparing for a sermon or class, pray, pick blackberries (and don’t pick up your Crackberry), trade in your cellphone for a shell-phone (my daughter and I find them on the beach), ride bikes and walk everywhere for once, and by all means, learn to throw a cast net and catch shrimp like I did last week. Your life, your family and your ministry will be better for it.
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Roger, this is a good post. I do wish pastors would take time to be with their families and recharge. It is essential to spend time resting and enjoying time together. I’m especially grateful your church gives you the time. selahV
Roger,
Please don’t apologize for taking time off work to be with your family! Please don’t!
I served for 20 years as a pastor. During that time, I often skipped vacations and days off. I often worked 14-18 hour days. No one, other than your family, knows the hours you keep. No one knows the times you are up and going at 2:00 AM to the hospital or to another church emergency (especially those you can never tell anyone about). No one knows the toll ministry takes on you and your family.
I won’t go into all of the details here, but there is a terrible danger of not taking the time away, taking all the time provided by the church. Brother, please know that I rejoice in your decision to take this time, and to enjoy it with your family!
I often left on Sunday afternoons or Monday morning and returned on Monday the following week. That way, I only missed one Sunday in the pulpit, and by coming back on Monday, I wasn’t thinking about my next sermon the entire time! Otherwise, it would take me two-three days to unwind from work, and then the next two-three days I was thinking about returning to work! So, I suppose I had great vacations, of about 2 days!
Don’t commit the same mistake that I did, robbing your family of quality time, good down time from church, work, and ministry.
Rest is good!
Well said. I have been guilty of following the law of the indespensible. Sometimes it’s an excuse to keep from having to go see the inlaws and sometimes it’s a genuine feeling that I need be here. Either way, you’ve pointed out the arrogance of my ways. “I will take my vacation….I will take my vacation”.
Well, Roger … you know how I feel about vacations. Can’t keep me away from that water!
Where did you guys go, Jekyll island?
Geoff,
I know you love your fishing! We went to Edisto Island, SC, which is a great place if you like peace and quiet.
Did you rent right on the beach?
Geoff,
No, the houses right on the beach were all rented by rich pastors from Kentucky.
We rented within walking distance of the beach, though, and biked everywhere we went.
Dave,
It’s a tough line between abandoning your post when needed and taking a break. But being gone always reminds me that the work belongs to the Lord, not to me.
Steve (or is it M.Steve?
Thanks for the blessing and words of wisdom. I should have mentioned, too, that I live in a parsonage, which means to get away I have to leave town! I love being on site though, as it allows me to be with my wife and kids more, and no commutes to the church!
Selah,
I am grateful to be in a church that encourages me to rest periodically. It makes me want to work that much harder for them. Hmmm, maybe they knew that when they gave me the time off!
Roger, Steve is fine by me.
I’ve lived in a parsonage as well. I swore, NEVER again!
The church was next door to the house. My neighbor, across the street, watched me like a hawk. So, to fix him, I would often park at the church, so he could see my vehicle, walk around the back of the church to my back door–which he couldn’t see. He thought I worked 24 hours a day, at times!
As far as giving you time off, making you want to work harder…trust me, they knew that! The church will let you work as hard you want…and then some!
Roger,
I play golf with some men from my church and other pastors on Tuesday mornings. One pastor, who has 55 years experience in the ministry, told me he was glad I took time off. He said that he never did and his family and his ministry suffered as a result. He also reminded me that one of the qualifications of a pastor is to take care of your own family. If we can’t take care of our own family, we’ve got no business trying to take care of the church.
Take time off. Take your vacations. Do not neglect your family. Balance is the key.
I sometimes wonder if we’ve got an off-kilter sense of what a pastor is supposed to do. Pastors are one of a group of people who are given to the church to equip the saints for the work of the ministry (Eph 4:11,12). Nowadays the idea too often seems to be that the pastor is supposed to do the work of ministry, while the saints spectate and, perhaps, pray for the pastor.
If your job as pastor is to equip the saints, then the ministry will go on while you take a vacation.
If your job as pastor is to do the work of ministry, the ministry will come to a screeching halt while you take a vacation.
In the latter situation, it’s not surprising if the pastor is reluctant to take a vacation.
Oloryn,
Agreed. But in fairness to many congregations, the pastor’s indispensible-ness (I know that’s not a word) is his perception, not reality. Our folks have always been very gracious about wanting me to take time off. And they pick up any slack when I am gone and make sure ministry continues. I am not indispensible here, and glad of it! I love coming back and hearing what God did while I was gone. This reminds me that this is His church, not mine.
Thanks for your comments.